I’m going to turn 25 in a few days and I’m excited about it. I believe in this some kind of romantic view about being 25. Some people say it is an important time of a human’s life; a turning point of some sort. The notion might be questionable but if one believes it, it could serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. Well, at least to me turning 25 is a celebration of reaching the middle point of your 20’s, the most awesome period in your life.
These last few years got me thinking. A lot. About things around me. About how the world works. About existential questions; my place in this universe. About why I am what I am. About moral views to hold on to. About why I feel and think and behave this way. About why people think and behave the way they do. About whether I owe this world something. About self-worth.
In the last few years, I’ve been constantly revising my views and opinions about things so much that if I read my writings from 2-3 years ago, I have no idea who wrote that. Maybe some things remain but the details don’t. It’s been a restless, relentless, merciless time of my life because it’s a pain to discover that things that you thought were the truth turns out to be wrong or do not suit you anymore, and you’ll have to adapt to the new thinking over and over. It’s overwhelming.. but it’s great.
I want to savor this time. I don’t want it to slip out of my hands while I’m doing things unconsciously. I’m not gonna be young forever. Yes, this is an important period where for the first time in my life, I realize that I am young but I realize too that it won’t last for too long now. I want to do crazy things, random things, take control of my life. I want to do things, to not do anything, to do as I please. I want to keep learning, keep experiencing, keep growing! Can you feel the hysteria? Lol. Yeah that’s what is happening in my brain now as I’m writing this at almost 9 in the morning where I should be taking a shower then rush off to work. But maybe it won’t be for too long now.